Another year, another Christmas. I realized that I hadn't blogged anything since last Christmas, it is crazy how quickly time flies by. It's been another full year, with days packed to the brim with fun and learning, I've had no energy or time to sit down and record it in writing. It's also been tough from time to time, but overall, it feels easier. Maybe it's the fact that Zoe sleeps through the night again and is basically independent with bedtime... you'd think that I would have written more stuff down with that burden lifted from the nightly duties, but I've basically been blissfully unoccupied, just zoning out at the end of each day because being useless and unproductive feels so damn wonderful. But anyway, here we are again, approaching Christmas Day.
Zoe has grown so much this year. We watched her performance on stage at school a couple of weeks ago, and she was doing all of the movements without missing a beat, more serious than last year, but still just as comfortable being onstage. As she stood up there front and center, she located us in the audience and immediately shouted out, "Are you watching me?" We both responded, loudly so that she could hear us, "Yes!" Everybody laughed. She simply relishes being watched, she is a natural performer and feels confident in herself. I hope that that confidence never fades. After the show ended, we were able to actually eat at a restaurant without having to cut our meal short or take turns taking her on movement breaks.
This morning of Christmas Eve, Zoe woke up yelling out her usual, "Good morning!!" from her bedroom. She's still my alarm clock. We were treating today like Christmas morning, because tomorrow we'll be having a big family gathering so there would be no time to open gifts and take it slow. She has been patient all month long, letting everyone know that the presents couldn't be opened until Christmas. She also had added some of her own presents for us underneath the tree, making use of scraps of wrapping paper and Scotch tape. She wrapped toys up from around the house and took it all very seriously. When it was time to open presents today, she handed ours to us first, before opening her own. She was so excited for us to open the ones that she had wrapped. A few were just toys from around the house that she packaged, but two were actual gifts. One was a photo frame from school and the other was a book for Wes that I got her to make one morning when Wes was outside working in the backyard. I loved that she was even more excited to give out her presents than to open her own. The book that she made for Wes was filled with pictures that she had drawn to go along with words that she had dictated to me, about what she loves about Daddy. Some of the pictures were drawn from such a hilarious perspective, I had to make notes on the back of the page because it wouldn't make sense unless you knew what was happening. Her pictures are getting more and more clear, though they're still wildly abstract in many ways. Then, when we opened the photo frame that she had made at school, I put it on top of the fireplace next to a picture of her when she was eleven months old. She looked at it and said, without batting an eye, "When I die, you can look at this picture of me." We've been talking about death this year quite a bit, because it is a topic of interest for her curious and maturing brain and also, the theme has mysteriously come up in more storybooks than I would like to have read. Still, facing the discomfort of the topic has taught me so much and I honestly feel that it's for the better, for her to know factually that death comes imminently.
Onto a lighter topic... last year, we got her a scooter but she didn't use it as much as we thought she would. She actually preferred her school scooter with the big chunky tires to the sleek, micro kickboard scooter that we ordered. This year, we were more on point with her gift. She got a cash register toy with a check-out scanner, complete with a red light and beep sound, buttons, and a microphone. She has been pretend-playing with shopping at the market for a long time, and even though she sometimes makes her own scanner with legos or other random things, we figured that she'd get a kick out of this one. She definitely did! To my surprise, though, she wanted me to be the cashier first while she shopped. Maybe she wanted to see me put it to use and then imitate. We took turns switching roles, buying everything from string cheese to green tea until I declared that I had no more money left to spend.
We also filled her stocking with candy and snacks that we knew she'd enjoy. She's so obsessed with candy now, compared to last year. The good thing is that she has self-restraint, so we're totally fine with giving her candy knowing that she won't overindulge. Hiding in the stocking with all the candy was also a red Mitsubishi model car--her favorite. She's picked up on all of the car makes this year--you basically can ask her to name any car based on the emblem and she will get it right. Her favorite thing to do on road trips is to look for dealerships and call them out. Anytime she sees a Mitsubishi in a parking lot anywhere, she rejoices and has to get a closer look. It's made many a person crack up.
Check out this gigantic Ferrero Rocher from Uncle Wesley and Auntie Anissa!
By chance, I had posted something on our neighborhood Buy Nothing group and the man who I chose to gift it to came over to pick up the item. When I opened the door to say hello, Zoe popped out as well and immediately struck up a conversation with him. She kept him there for a solid five to ten minutes, telling him the spelling of her English name, her Chinese name, that the heater was on in our house, and that he can warm up if he bikes faster. He tried to say her Chinese name and attempted to say something else in Chinese, but she was unsure of what it was because her Chinese isn't actually that advanced. However, she asked him what his name was, and he told her. He told her that he is from Peru. I told her that that means that he can understand Spanish, and she immediately offered to say something to him in Spanish. To our surprise, she said, "Zorro," which is fox in Spanish. I thought that she was going to count or say "hello." He was thoroughly entranced by her, and taught her how to say, "Feliz Navidad" on the spot. She got shy suddenly and refused to repeat it, but as he biked away, she shouted it out, making him smile. She insisted on staying to watch him until he was completely out of sight. Small interactions like this tell me so much about her, and I feel like she has a special gift of being able to connect with others, even if she's just barely met them.
Then, we did a video chat with A-gong and Po-po, since they were going to be missing the family gathering with the Wongs tomorrow. Zoe always loves to video call them, we've been doing it since she was a baby. She said, Merry Christmas to them in Chinese and added, "Ni hao!" She had been waiting to call them to open the present from them, but seemingly completely forgot about the present and picked up her red guitar, asking if we could sing Deck the Hall while she strummed along. She made sure to get her music stand before we started though. Somehow, despite the lag in video connection, we got through the song together and she seemed satisfied. I reminded her about the present, and she opened it. She seemed much more taken by the included gift receipts than by the actual clothes that were in the box, though. She took them to her cash register and proclaimed that these would be the receipts that she could give out to customers. Just when I thought that maybe she had forgotten about this, she asked to do some downloadable silly face effects (or, filters) that Line offers. My parents probably don't love this part, but they do it anyway just for her entertainment. She swaps from a scary black-and-white face, to a donut face, to a Rudolph nose, and then settles on a sick Teddy bear with a thermometer sticking out of its mouth. She was in love with this one, and really loved seeing Po-Po as a crying elf. We're still working on the empathy part. However, her etiquette has improved drastically. She asked when it was okay to hang up (pressing that red circle with the X in it is her favorite part at the end of every video call) and waited until both A-gong and Po-po were all done talking before officially ending the call. That's actually impressive, because the grandparents always have something extra to add at the end, whether it's, "I love you," or "See you next time," or "Have a great day," or the like.
After this, she asked if she could make the gingerbread house that we had bought from Costco. We got out the kit (which included six packs of colorful gum drops, sprinkles, peppermints, and hard candies) and got to work. She wasted no time tasting everything, and I had to refrain myself from stopping her, reminding myself to not take away from the joy in this activity. Eating all of the toppings was probably the part that she looked forward to most, to be honest! She definitely focused on it for a long time though, compared to last year, and she pretended that she was making the Harbeck house with mints that you can press to activate the lights, music, and fake snow. The sprinkles and candies on the tray around the house were all people, enjoying the show. We had just gone to Upper Hastings Ranch a couple of days ago to check out the Christmas decorations there and seen the Harbeck light show in that neighborhood. Nowadays, she has a story or scenario for everything, which is so much fun. As we continued to add to the gingerbread house, I got into the zone myself and made fun patterns with the candy and even ate some of it myself, at her beckoning. I hadn't really ever made a gingerbread house as a part of my childhood Christmas traditions unless it was in school with a few graham crackers and m&m's, so I felt like my inner child was right there with us at the kitchen counter. Now, as I am typing this, Zoe is napping peacefully in her bed (successful house naps are very rare these days!) and the cloying fragrance of the icing and gingerbread is filling the air across the table from me. On a regular day, I'd be so over it, but today, I don't mind.
Speaking of the Harbeck house, we wound up bumping into (a man dressed up as) Santa Claus on the street. He was passing out candy canes and wishing everyone a merry Christmas. The first time Zoe came face to face with a Santa, she was terrified. She was about to turn two years old and very, very wary. This year, she was drawn to him, though we've never explicitly told her one thing or another about Santa specifically. She got a candy cane from him and asked to go back to speak with him as we were nearing the end of our night. We walked back to where he was and found him, still spreading good cheer to the neighbors and cars that were driving by. He assumed that she wanted another candy cane, but she had only wanted to personally invite him to her birthday party. It was cute, because he said, "Why not?" Ever since last year's birthday party, she has been all about asking anyone who strikes her as kind and friendly to her birthday party. No wonder our guest list is well over 100 people!
After her nap, we played several rounds of hide and seek (where she would opportunistically sneak a few gum drops from the top of her gingerbread house while I was hiding or counting with my eyes closed). It's been fun, teaching her games and seeing that competitive spirit come out. She also has been learning a lot about theory of mind this season. She now knows not to give away her location, in order to make the game fun and exciting for the seeker. Much like gifting--she has learned that it's not ideal for the recipient to know what is contained in the present. The development of these higher cognitive functions really amazes me, when I compare where she was last year with where she is now. That, in addition to the imagination, the vocabulary, the restraint, her memory, and her endless curiosity... she has not stopped keeping us on our toes. Although she still fits in the same pajamas as last year and she still wears the same shoe size, she's grown so, so much, and we are privileged to get to help her continue to bloom. She's pure joy, the best present, and our biggest blessing.
Here are some pictures from this holiday season!
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